So, about love...

I'm not sure who reads this, but I'm guessing I have the rights to talk about my personal life, as well as other controversial issues. If you've a problem, so be it.

(I'm writing this in the bathroom, by the way. Thought I'd let you know. Hey, Jerry Garcia's toilet was a prime factor in the Grateful Dead's songs, so I thought I'd try it out. I just hope my legs don't go numb. This is also a nod to my dear friend Ben, for one of the previous posts on his blog where he addresses the issue of bathroom inspiration.)

Anywho, I'm "dating" someone right now... if that's even the correct word. I've "dated" two boys (as in, beings of the male persuasion) already, and still I've never gone on a real date, been alone in the same room, or even had my first kiss with any of them. Maybe that's the way it should be, though. I'll elaborate from a teen's perspective:

Everyone's heard the term "puppy love" and have experienced it at one point or another... I won't lie and say I'm the exception; there are days when just a smile from that person can turn my whole day around, but there are also times when I couldn't imagine anything hurting as much as their rejection. It's terrible, but I think that we're only testing our little love-feet in the hot waters of boiling passion... mwuhaha. (That was a terrible metaphor that could have been saved in so many ways... I pity my literary skills today.)

... but there really hasn't been a day that I've gone through the lunch line and not seen a couple making out, holding hands, or doing who-knows-what in front of me. The teachers pretty much ignore it... but there's so much PDA spreading around that being single is almost like, well, being branded. We stand out (especially if you're someone like me who attracts all the Nerdy Best Friend types. Not that I'm complaining, though. Better than the entire football team, you know?)

There's really no way I can talk about teenage relationships without being critical, so here goes. I hate them... or what the other kids think they are going through I believe that, at this point in our lives, we confuse love with passion and experimentation. I'll be blunt - I don't think real love exists until after sex. It's all a how-far-can-we-go game, body before mind.

Here's what I especially dislike:

* Putting "ILY!!!!" in Facebook/Myspace statuses.
* Changing a Myspace display name to your name... plus their last name.
* "Marrying" them in one of those Facebook applications.
* Writing "I <3 _____ 4 Lyfe" on papers/binders/forearms.
* (Tattoos are a big one, people.)
* Ignoring your friends for them.
* Being all that someone talks about.
* Any type of inexcusable PDA.
* Uh...

Really, this all boils down to how much you talk about them and make your relationship public, to be honest. I certainly get tired of watching (and hearing about) people lose themselves in another person. But not that love should be a secret... I really don't know where I'm going with this, to be honest. In a way I feel that the love we feel at this age isn't the same as what we experience when we're older, but who's to say it isn't? Maybe we only lose the excitement of being with someone we like as we age... simply because we've done it so many times before and realize its true unimportance. Not that I should live my life thinking that everything I consider important is unimportant in the grand scheme of things either; there's got to be a balance, right?

So the question is, is it better to be "right" about the amount of love you feel for someone and stay within the exact definition, or should we use the word more freely and indiscriminately?

Hmm. Food for thought. Now that I think about it, the latter should be true. I love my friends and family. Why shouldn't I love him? I do. I did when he was my friend, so why should that change simply because we've acknowledged feelings for each other?

(Note: I have realized that, in typing this, I'm learning about myself rather than writing something for your enjoyment, so feel free to stop at any time.)

... We're seeing a movie Saturday. My first real date. I'm not as thrilled as I should probably be, but it's a nice feeling to know I'm not so nervous (for once). He's great to talk to.

My throat kind of hurts now, I'm brewing (is that the right word?) some tea or the first time to try and soothe it. I don't like tea that much, it was always either cold or tasted too much like water, but the tea bags smelled peachy (literally) so maybe it will warm me up from the inside out. Snowmaggedon has certainly taken a toll here, as it has in virtually the entire East. I wouldn't be surprised if we had Friday off school as well.

I'll add the pictures of the concert in my next entry, it was simply superb. Anyone who is even a remote fan of live music in general would have loved it. I was moved to tears in the end. :)