Hmm.

Photo

I am a glutton and I am proud. :) Well, not really. but the fact I'm
typing with one hand because the other is coated in Dorito cheesy-
dust, well... you tell me.

I'd like to discuss the topic of a first kiss in today's post (said
Nancy Grace, mwuhahah). But will I regret writing about it? Hmm.
That's a risk I'm willing to take, I think.

Are you supposed to feel anything? Maybe I've seen too many movies. It
didn't feel like anything. Just gray. And I felt depressed afterwards,
for some reason. I think I was mostly disappointed that the world
didn't stop or something. That I didn't see stars. It was over too
quick. Like a grandma's kiss. (Teehee.) But the second and fourth ones
were ok. Then I left o_0

... My eyes were open. :P

So I slept until noon today and woke up and reread some texts between
me and him and I was thinking... what have I done... what have I
done...

(... This post is full of ellipsises, it seems...)

... But then I went to the mall later with my parents in order to get
my mind off of everything, and I saw someone that looked like him in
the crowd, and I felt my stomach kind of jump and I felt insanely
happy for a split second until I realized it wasn't him. But that made
me realize it was ok, and that it's just new and awkward and I
shouldn't base all of my feelings on that one imperfect moment.

(I wonder how I'll react when I lose my virginity D: I'll have a
mental breakdown, I'm sure.)

... And he looks much, much better when he does an open-mouth smile. I
don't know why he doesn't. He's so funny and laughs all the time.
You'd think he would. o_0