C

well well well.

i am wearing socks that are nearly twice as big as my foot.  and, you know, just like women wear their boyfriend's shirts and hats and jackets, socks are equally as comforting.  my feet like having extra room.

i started a twitter again (yeah, same with facebook too, the fact that i can't completely delete it is insane because i'm always tempted to reactivate it and end up doing so anyway).  and i'm trying not to assign purposes to anything anymore, but i'm hoping i'll just put down little quotes or intriguing thoughts and follow people with book suggestions.

as for the kindle, it has proven to be the most useful gift i have ever received (aside from, well, the gift of life).  i've started so many books but haven't finished them.  let's see... Lolita, On Writing, The Elements of Style (not exactly a book but worth going over), A Confederacy of Dunces... hm.  i've downloaded samples of The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, The Book Thief, and... huh.  i also STILL haven't finished Mrs. Dalloway (probably not going to make any sense to, since i don't remember any of it), Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and all the other assorted books associated with it that come from the huge collection i got)... and i still have The Poetry of Robert Frost to skim through, and Flannery O'Connor's short stories, and Ernest Hemingway's Short Stories... and on my kindle i have a free Aristotle on Poetry book and a sample of Some Imagist Poets that i downloaded that don't look too promising... and that Steven Hawking book about something... yeah.

life is short but i have to read.

i did the GSA audition yesterday.  didn't go over too well, but i'm glad for the experience.  i told maybe 10 people the ironic story that was involved in it but i just don't feel like typing it out.  there's nothing i can do about it so i'm just not going to fret.

and i want to talk (type) about brandon too.  it's wonderful and i'm happy.  i thought of the analogy a few minutes ago that maybe he (or just loving/being loved in general) was kind of like the medicine that got all the bad stuff out, little by little.  i'm having fewer episodes.  i just feel... full up.  and even in some moments, like i wouldn't mind things just being this way forever.  that change wouldn't have to happen for me to be satisfied.

and there's a part of the Silmarillion that i like a lot.  it says Elves (the Quendi) are the higher beings, that they are perfect and desire no change.  they are immortal.  but Men (the Atani) are the builders and movers, the people that add on and create.  they die.  and because they are never really satisfied, they die.  Elves have to watch the world crumble and not meddle, but the Men, although living short lives, can make it better.

oh, add that to the other books i need to finish, plus the two Mom ordered for me, As I Lay Dying and A Clockwork Orange.  Amazon will publish porn and dirty books but not the banned ones, hmph.  crap.  a lot of books.

oh, and the sample of Naked Lunch.  and Slaughterhouse Five for honors program.  although i have recently been reading a ton of Vonnegut and loved it.  Breakfast of Champions was excellent, and i really liked the concept of Bokononism in Cat's Cradle.  probably my favorite part was when Papa Monzano was dying and the doctor performs the boku-maru thing and makes him repeat the thing about people being mud and all that.

so i'm good.  i guess.  only time will tell if it's true.